"IT'S NOT GOOD; IT'S NOT BAD- IT IS WHAT IT IS."

Ugh, being negative is not my usual self (perhaps not even at all myself at the presence of other people) then again I'd like to believe this is just perspective based on sheer observation. -that's what she said- 

Anyway, because a) my sleeping habits are being a bitch to me again b) my brain just won't shut up and c) honestly, I can only write at ungodly hours, I've arrived at a conclusion that may/may not be what I still hold to be true next year, next month or even tomorrow. Which is this- 

Humans bring each other more suffering than the contrary.

I guess it only means to say that if given the ultimatum to choose one perspective over the other- all things considered, I find it easier to find happiness without other people than it is to shut all the harm from them out. To push the blame of all your endless despair on people is a cheap, cheap move, but then again blame is such a dirty word. Sometimes the simple understandable logic is to just allow ourselves to call it tracing the effect back to its cause. Haven't we already seen one too many instances of people with nothing but good intentions done dirty by other people? And when does understanding their pain cease to be enough?

<Then again what entitlement do we have to blame anything when we're machines of destruction ourselves. Haven't we left enough marks on earth that weren't all so pretty as we come and go? Maybe if we held all human life in a snow dome then we'd see it. We're burning a hole through each other and then, the entire place we call home. Funny how when things are done subtly and slowly with occasional bursts of self-righteousness we don't realize how we're putting everything we touch into a state of annihilation. Maybe one day as we watch everything go up in flames in a fire so engulfing nothing escapes, bringing all our sins with it then destruction will start looking like alchemy. Maybe then we can begin again.>

Settling on an opinion and tying it to how you think the world works feels good, because then there comes the acceptance part. When you take uncertainty out of the equation you're left to deal with what you've got; hence the post title. 

If all of us are going to suffer in one way or the other, the only question in line is how much of it we're gonna have to take and for what cause.

If all of us is going to suffer anyway, let's accept the fact that when the purpose of your life extends beyond yourself and happiness takes the form of fulfillment, a good life is not necessarily better than a life well-lived. 

If all of us are going to suffer anyway, here's to finding things/people worth suffering for.

DISENGAGEMENT IS BLISS (or not)

               

                                                                  2:41am realising that if there were a limit of times you can 

                                                  loop a playlist until it arrives at a scientifically unhealthy amount, 

                                                  me playing Jaymes Young takes the cake. 

Why is it always hard to shake off this feeling of disconnection from where I belong and from everyone around me. It's like I'm too in over my head that it doesn't take long in every occasion for me to drift away into my own world. Being in a room full of people you'll start to wonder how people are made to be the person they are and if they ever feel just as trapped in their own skin as you do. And you wonder if you'd rather be like the kind of garbage people you secretly despise if ignorance meant you wouldn't have to see the problem with this entire generation and you'd be happier that way.

Isn't it odd no matter how much time you spend with someone, who you think they are is still only the side of them you're able to see through. (though the lack of substance in some makes them a whole lot more permeable) But this gap of misunderstanding is also what that allows us to have a protected sense of self that belongs to nobody but ourselves. To think that the true form of someone exists only in one dimension is a disgrace to the millions of years of human evolution we took to get where we are. 

But then there's this- when all of us are so different from each other the beauty of the world also becomes its problem. 
Truth is you'll always feel like you're all you have and the sad part about that are days when you don't even know if you like what you have.

COEXISTENCE

We are long overdue when it comes to looking at the stars.

Some of them long gone by the time the radiance of their light reaches us.

 It feels more and more like all our scattered bits of hope at midst the darkness is one big lie,

a mockery to our perpetual laggard and impotence in things beyond our grasp.                                                                                                                
         But I’ve long learned to be okay with that              
                                                                                                                  

  because everyone knows the world makes fools of us all.

Taking the place of our tainted reality are bright light and cityscapes instead

overpowering what was once real with fabrication forged with pride.

In an upheaval our world is constantly turned upside down 

all for the unsettling volatility of human nature.

When something isn’t our reality anymore, we conceal destruction

of ourselves and of everything else around us

in so-called progress.

S.