I sway to a different light
a while ago I wrote:
My days carry so little weight they are turning into spumes and
spite,
sullen in my upturned palms facing the sun.
The spree of its fervor all amber and warm against my skin
but I can feel nothing more
than a perpetual ache, miserable in its potency.
There is a force of resentment pushing its way through me,
like a gust of wind sweeping streets clean in its passing.
Exiled from my own flesh,
suspended in a continuum
of regret.
I am going, going,
gone.
I am in awe of time.
This strange, seemingly sentient being.
And at its core an uncompromising fluency,
like soft, loving waves carrying me.
I see glistening hues of sunlight on grand bodies of water,
a meditation of blue and greens bleeding through clear skies
along with tides that can’t seem to decide.
Ebb after ebb,
pulling away from me like lovers leaving at first light
just so they can come rushing in again like fools.
I find peace in their rhythmic cadence,
in repetition and in knowing.
I feel the passing transience of rough seas
and every other fleeting element immensely, especially so
today.
As if to lift and hold each strand of earth’s fabric in perfect
clarity.
Once falling apart at the seams,
now coming together in sureness and in light.
Just as I am slowly,
Transcending the past.
Now at twenty one,
I am beginning to feel more and more
like an orb of glee-
all-embracing and remembering yet forgiving.
I am swelling with content,
beaming with a radiance no longer blinding.
I feel thoroughly human.
I am home.
